We Got This

We have been in the new house for just over a month now.  Things are starting to really look like home here now.  I have my knickknacks for the most part where I want them. Of course that will change all the time.  You know how girls can be.  For the most part I am just about as settled as my knickknacks. As in I am aware of my surroundings and I am starting to like them, but things are always changing.

I have really been pounding the pavement lately looking for a job. I realized that I need to get out of the house. Need as in it isn't even kind of optional. I figured out if I just sit around the house I tend to get really to feeling sorry for myself.  It isn't a healthy option. Yes, I moved to another location and I really haven't found many friends yet, but things are starting to look up. I had a job interview at the library yesterday and I was invited to join a Sunday book club. The girls have also started to take ice skating lessons and La has joined a teen book club that meets once a month.



I've come to accept that things won't get normal around here until I get back to normal. I am so used to having so many friends to lean on that I had almost forgot how to lean upon myself. I am relearning how to be strong on my own again. It is empowering to know that I can brush myself off and get back on my feet again. And I WILL be OK. I can embrace this change. I got this.

Hard Time With The Holidays

Let me tell you something, moving during the holiday season has sucked. That last sentence is also an understatement.  I don't think you can actually quantify the level of suck that moving in the November/December time frame actually contains.

First off let me preface this by saying, I knew I was going to have to leave England at some point.  I got that. I for once am not actually complaining about moving away from England.  I am talking about the other aspects of moving one's entire family overseas and to the middle of blinking nowhere during this festive time of year.

So here is a list of why it sucks so bad.

1. Moving is expensive. You know all those things you really wanted to get for your kids? Scratch those off your list. It's not going to happen unless you a fan of financial ruin. Instead of gifts you're going to be buying all the essential things you need to live in your new home.

2. No decorations- You know all those fantastic decorations you have saved up in tubs in the garage?  Yeah you won't get to use them this year.  Instead, you will buy a $20 "Christmas bush" from Wal-mart so the kids will have something to decorate.

3. Christmas Bushes don't feel like Christmas Trees-  Let's be honest a four foot "Christmas Tree" isn't exactly what you have in mind when you think of Christmas around the tree.  You will probably not have your ornaments either so you will settle for cheap baubles from Wally World as well.  It's not exactly magical.

4. You Aren't in Familiar Surroundings-  Want to go shopping?  Better pull out the mobile phone to google a place and the Sat Nav to find your way there. There is no more popping to the shop until you figure out your way around. In my case you need to add in the fact that there is loads of snow and ice on the ground as well.

5.  If you have a Christmas baby like I do, they won't have any friends around to celebrate with.  Birthdays with no friends stink. For the record we did a really early and over the top birthday party for La in October.  It was Harry Potter themed and completely insane. On her actual birthday she ended up going to her last day of school for the term and having a pretty run of the mill day.  It did snow though.

6. Skype and FaceTime don't cut it.  I love technology.  I love Skype and FaceTime too.  However, during the holidays it just does not replace being in the same room as your loved ones. Your phone or computer can't hug you back.

7. Having no local friends during the holidays is almost worse than not having family close by. I am used to not spending the holidays close to my family.  Hazard of the job. Having no friends nearby is not something I wasn't prepared for.  I can not tell you how bad this sucks.  Even when I moved to England I had a support system of friends who were already there.  So, this was the first time I had to go cold turkey at the holidays.

8. It is hard to get into the "Christmas Spirit" when the only thing you have to look forward to is gifts. Everyone loves gifts, but that isn't what this season is about. When I think of Christmas I think of being with family and friends, sitting around trading stories, going to church together and the comfort and familiarity of all the traditions. When you don't have that to look forward to, Christmas just feels like a morning where you get a lot of new stuff.  

I am going to stop there because I could probably go on and on for ages.  I will say that I was lucky enough to spend Thanksgiving with my family, which was amazing.  It was mainly December that was hard.  I am just looking forward to the New Year.

I'm Here.

I made it to North Dakota. The last month or so has been quite the whirlwind. There was the flight here. That was a nightmare with pets in tow. The packing and repacking and locating and relocating. That sucks for the record. Seeing family and friends. Always a good time. The drive across the USA from the east coast. Wasn't as bad as expected except for when we got stuck less than 100 miles from Minot due to the "dusting" of snow. I guess in ND a dusting is three inches? However that even lead to meeting the sweetest motel owner in Harvey, ND. 



Honestly, I'm just exhausted. I'm ready to be in a house and not living out of suitcases. I'm ready to get back onto a normal schedule. I'm really trying not to complain, but I'm tired. However, my kids aren't tired at all. They want to do All. The. Stuffs. Now.


They built a snowman literally as soon as we got to our final stop. They've already asked about ice skating lessons (which they first had an experience with when we were visiting family in South Carolina).


I guess I need to take a page out of their book and find my zest for life; cause good things don't happen unless you get out there and find new experiences. 


Thoughts From My Last Days In England

I fly back to America on Saturday. I can't stop it and it is all coming too fast. My face has been leaking tears every time I turn around. Honestly I can't stop it and it is getting annoying. I don't normally cry. It is odd and foreign to me. I don't like it.

Saying goodbye sucks. Like not in the "oh gee that kinda stinks" kind of way but in the "Oh my Lord I think my heart is being ripped from my chest and I might actually die" way. I didn't think it would be this hard. Not only for me. My kids have now realised their world is going to be flipped upside down as well. They're not keen. Seeing my daughter cling to our neighbor and tell her that she loved her and that she would miss her terribly was one of the hardest things I have had to witness. There are no words to say how much it kills you as a parent to rip your child's world out from underneath them.

Appointments for everything. I think I need to schedule in restroom breaks. I have barely had a moment to myself. Not that I want to be alone, because that is when my face starts that pesky leaking.

So, we have 2 and a half days left in the UK and my heart hurts. I am going to miss my life here. I am trying to find positive things to dwell upon, but it is hard when your whole soul is screaming to stay. I will miss you England. I will miss your people, your rain, your wind, your rolling hills, your flat bits with no trees, your history, and your wit. I am going to miss you and a piece of my heart will always reside here.

I Think I Know What I Want To Be When I Grow Up

Right before I moved to the UK I earned my BS in Technical Management. It is a pretty general business degree. I haven't used it in the 7 years that I have lived here. At the time I was earning it I wasn't even sure what I would do with it. I was just determined that I would have a degree. It was a little short sighted of me. I have saddled myself with student loan debt, and have very little to show for it other than a piece of paper that confirms that I have an education. Meh. I am just going to chalk this one up to being young and pig headed in my determination.

For the past year I have been working as a substitute teacher at my younger daughters elementary school. I absolutely love my job. I love the children. I love seeing their minds work. I love the environment. I feel energized and ready to tackle anything that comes my way each and every time I walk into that building. I think I have found my calling in the field of education.

My problem now is that we are moving from the UK and I will need to find a new job in North Dakota. I have been looking online and have found several possible jobs that I am interested in applying for when I get to the tundra. I have also been thinking about getting my masters degree in elementary education. This excites me and terrifies me at the same time. I love school, but I just want to make sure that I am absolutely positive that I am stearing myself in the right direction.

I hear a lot about teacher burn out. I know it is a tough job that requires a special personality. I wonder if I have what it takes. Time to do some research.

Model Behavior

Often times I sit around an think about what sort of influence I am really having on my children.  They are fed, clothed and supported by my husband and I, but are they really being molded by our actions? What sort of influence are we having on them in comparison to their peers and the culture that we live in? Are we making a big enough difference? These thoughts bother me when they are doing things that drive me mad, such as fighting me about chores or homework. Then I have moments where I am relieved because I see them do amazing selfless acts of kindness with no prompting. 

La, has recently been begging me to bake cookies on her own in my kitchen.  She over the weekend made a batch of chocolate chip cookies and then shared them with the rest of the neighborhood.  All the kids loved them, except one.  He wasn't allowed to have any because he is gluten intolerant. 

The fact that her friend was not allowed to have her cookies made La pretty upset.  Not to mention that I am sure that her friend was pretty upset seeing all the other kids in the neighborhood getting treats that he wasn't allowed to have.  This situation sent La into action.  She told her friends mom that she wanted to bake him cookies that he could have.  Luckily, his mom had the ingredient on hand for gluten free chocolate chip cookies.

She mixed them up under my supervision.  I only watched because I wanted to make sure she followed the directions carefully because we both had never baked gluten free before.  She then tested the dough before she baked them making a "ewww" face. 

I then reminded her "You know, you're doing a very kind thing!"
To which she responded by saying "By making really bad cookies..."
To which I burst out laughing.  Then gathering myself, I told her they would probably taste better when they were baked, which they did. 

Her friend was overjoyed to get cookies all to himself that La had baked.  Then that is when it clicked for me.  Although, she has always had a kind heart, she has also always seen kindness modeled for her. If anyone has ever been in need, my husband and I are always willing to lend a hand.  I am not trying to toot my own horn.  In fact, I think being kind is just a basic part of being a good human being. It has always been something that I strive to be in my daily life.

Now, I have seen some pretty awful things adults do to each other. Our children see pretty horrible things in life, on the news and portrayed on television every day.  As parents can we do enough to outweigh the influence the outside world has on our kids? Can we model the behavior that we want our children to repeat?  Can we make our kids be a positive influence in a seriously flawed world? I think we can.  Although sometimes it can be difficult to see it when they are throwing a tweenaged tantrum about how the world isn't fair because they need to clean their room, they really are soaking in the lessons that we are teaching them.  I just hope that I can keep up with the lessons I need to teach them. 

Reading Festival

The one thing my husband swore he was going to do before we left the UK was go to see an outdoor music festival.  When he heard that Metallica was headlining the 2nd day of Reading Festival, well, needless to say he was determined that we were going to go to Reading Festival.  Metallica is his favorite band of all time and we last saw them in concert right before we moved over here.

The day started really early in the morning with us handing our children off to some very kind neighbors who kept them for the day and over night.  Then we hit the road.  It took us nearly 4 hours to get there due to horrible traffic on the M25, but we kind of expected that. After that little bit of horrible was whole a lot of epic.










We saw eight acts in an afternoon.  The energy was amazing.  Metallica played 18 songs over two and a half hours.  I was so buzzing after the end of their set I didn't even mind the hour long walk back to the car.  Bucket list item- check.